The only way to get past your fear of talking to women is to actually talk to women. Below are some easy ways you can practice talking to women. Nothing on this list is meant to be romantic. These are just ways for you to get used to interacting with women in order to get you to the point of being less nervous when you do.
This list starts with what I think are the easiest ones and then gets progressively more involved. But you judge for yourself what you are comfortable with.
I have a really important point about talking to women. It is ok if she doesn’t want to speak with you, so don’t worry. Don’t panic; just be prepared mentally that maybe she isn’t interested in talking, and there is nothing wrong with that. She has the right not to want to talk to you. If you can accept that fact, you are ahead of the game because so many men still haven’t figured this out. It doesn’t matter why you are scared of talking to women. The solution will be the same no matter what the reason is. The only way to overcome your fear of talking to women is to talk to women.
Order Something from a Female Barista
If you are really scared of talking to women in any way, I would suggest just try ordering something from a woman. Nothing here is meant to be romantic or creepy. Just walk into a coffee shop with a girl behind the counter and go in and order something.
Look at how you did and self-evaluate. Did you mumble or speak under your breath? If you did, maybe go back another time or try at a different location. Keep doing this until you feel more comfortable.
Don’t be creepy. Just order the coffee or whatever and maybe say have a nice day. That’s it. I am not trying to tell you to hit on the barista. Just communicate. Order, say thank you, and throw in some offhand comments if you like. Say, “Have a nice day,” or something like that. This is beginner-level stuff, but some people need help even with this.
Talk to a Server or Bartender
Ordering from a female server or bartender is another easy way to practice talking to women. If you are very nervous, just start off slow and order your food or drink. Try to be polite and speak at an appropriate volume. Say thank you and throw in some offhand comments. Have a nice day, or do any simple little thing.
If you drink, you can try to chat with the bartender. This will not be easy if the place is very crowded or busy. It is worth a shot if she looks like she has time or is bored. Once again, don’t be creepy. Don’t go out and start drinking on account of this, either. You shouldn’t have to get drunk to talk to women. You can always sit and have a soda and tell her you just popped in to kill time before you meet a friend or something. Just keep it simple, and don’t be pushy or annoying. Always be polite and cordial.
Hold the Door and Say You’re Welcome if She Thanks You
This one should be easy. If you are opening a door in public, you can hold it for a woman. Hopefully, she will say “Thank you,” and you will say “You’re Welcome” back. Practice your tone of voice. Try not to speak too low. Try to use whatever confidence you can. Most importantly, don’t do anything creepy. We are looking for politeness and cordialness.
This advice is just meant to allow you to practice interacting with women. I am not telling you to try to pick up women you hold the door for. This is all just platonic, polite conversations. I will put romantic ones in another post.
Give a Random Compliment
I have always found that people love compliments. Maybe give a woman a polite and innocuous random compliment. Here is an example: I was in a restaurant, and the woman taking my order was very friendly and had a bubbly personality. I gave her my order and finished by saying, “By the way, you have great energy.” I wasn’t trying to hit on her. I was just being friendly. She laughed and said, “Thank You, that’s so nice.”
You can interact with women in a friendly and platonic manner. Be nice and upbeat, but don’t overdo it. Don’t lay it on too thick. Just keep it simple. Be chill about it.
Talk Online or On an App
I think this one should be easy, but you can try talking to women online. This is low-risk. It also allows you to practice topics of discussion and work on your improvisational skills in a low-pressure, slow-paced setting. Think before you write your responses.
Don’t worry if she loses interest. There are other girls you can talk to. Never take it personally. Remember that people are more flaky on an app than in person. Also, it’s ok if she doesn’t want to talk to you. This is not the end of the world.
Ask Your Friends or Family For Help
There is nothing wrong with asking for help. You can ask your friends or family to invite you out where there might be some girls. It’s ok to tell them you are nervous and need to practice. Just try to relax and have some simple conversation. It might be easier if it’s in a group, or maybe you will find that more difficult. If you are in a group, you may feel less pressure to talk so much, and you can chime in little by little.
If possible, do this over and over and see if you get more comfortable. The more you talk to women, the more confident you will become. This is a step-by-step process. You can get there little by little.
Try to Just Chat With a Woman You Know
I am sure there are some women you know. Can you try to strike up a conversation with one? It could be a friendly chat, even if it’s short. Maybe there is someone you are already comfortable around, and you can talk to her. Just try to take advantage of the opportunities in front of you.
Make a Platonic Female Friend
I personally think making a platonic female friend is one of the best ways to practice talking to girls while also getting yourself a friend. I have several close female friends and always have. Since high school and throughout the rest of my life, I have always made platonic friends with girls.
Women can be excellent friends, and they can give you advice on women. It’s a win-win. Try to make a platonic female friend. This can really be a great way to improve your social skills and have a new person in your life who hopefully brings positivity.
Go To an Event or Meetup Group
Depending on your interests, you can attend an event or join a meetup group and socialize there. If the event or meetup is based on a common interest, that is perfect. You can meet people who like the same things you do, and this is an easy way to start a conversation with a woman. Also, remember that if someone goes to a meetup group, they probably are looking for people to talk to as well.
Talking about a common interest is a great way to start a conversation. Some event thoughts could be a dog meetup group in the park (if you have a dog), maybe something work-related or going to a festival like Ozzfest or Comic Con. Go to something you are already interested in. Make your own list of places you could go to practice talking to women.
Go to a Party or Social Gathering
Parties and other social gatherings are the best places to practice talking to women, especially if there are a lot of people there. You can move around and try talking to a few different people at a big party. Also, parties are low-pressure, as there are lots of people there, and you do not have to carry the entire conversation.
It is important to remember that it doesn’t matter why you are scared to talk to women, the solution will always be the same. The only way to get over your fear of talking to women is to go and talk to a woman. Some men are frozen with a fear of talking to women, but there is hope. I know you can all improve a little, no matter what your comfort level is. Little by little, step by step. Good luck. I believe in you.
